Goodbye.

Finals are not fun. I just wanna get them over with. I could really care less what I get by this point. I've fucked this year up too so all I can hope now is that by Senior year I'll change.

I leave myself completely in the hands of fate, luck and all that jazz. Jazz. No jazz? Jazzy McJazzkins. They seems to know what I want better than I do.

I had this weird dream last night about giant fish. Like my parents were hell bent on raising these ugly, brownish/green fish that were the size of a donkey or something. Our backyard was turned into a giant fish tank and the back door actually led into the tank (so there was basically no back door unless you wanna drown or something). We started off with one. I didn't like it because it was just creepy. Then I remember walking by the door (which was made of glass so the fish could see me) and the damn thing started ramming into the door. I ran into the next room thinking it would stop if it didn't see me, but it kept ramming until finally the door broke and water just poured into the house. Then the fish for some reason was able to glide across the surface of the floor and started attacking furniture and stuff. It eventually spotted me and started gliding towards me, but someone (random person in my house?) rammed into the fish and knocked it on it's side. It couldn't get up or anything. We decided to tie it up against a wall and wait for it to die from lack of water. It didn't. My parents apparently really wanted it and refused to believe that it broke into the house and start going apeshit on everything. Nope. They instead got more! HOORAY!

Then I stopped dreaming about giant fish.

I you were given the chance to learn one tid bit of information about ANYTHING (this includes the ingredients to SPAM), what would it be? I'd personally want the identity of the Zodiac killer or like what was behind the whole thing (in case it was aliens!). It's just something that really interests me and makes me wish I was alive in the 60's.

Okay.

-Allan

Iron Lungs

Maybe you've seen this picture before. It's a room full of people who can't breathe (by themselves). Can you imagine that?

I really like that picture. It would make a great album cover. Try to steal my idea and I swear I'll find you.

I've developed a "thing" for Audrey Hepburn.

Hooray otters!

-Allan

Chinese Coke Whores

SAT TOMORROW! HOORAY!!! I can finally take this big, bad test after all the suspense and excitement!

I'm a huge dork so I get really excited when I figure out how certain noises are produced on the guitar. All of them involve fancy pedals that I can't afford, but it helps me narrow down my long (and expensive) list of guitar pedals I should buy to like 4-5.

Were gonna talk about photography....

I (for some reason) just really don't like using the flash. I'll risk super grainy and pictures that are WAYYY dark to see before I use the flash. End of trying to sound like I know what I'm talking about.

I say that a lot. You win a prize if you can count ALL the times I've said that.

Ooo...interactive.

-Allan

Double Visible

I really want all these tests to be over. I can't take it anymore. This state of not being able to do anything I want.

For some reason, James really thinks that Mr. Asshole will win an award next year from the Tech department. He thinks because he's got a horrible attitude towards people who ask him to do stuff and he swears a lot out loud, that automatically makes Mr. Asshole who doesn't ever do any work and is just good at kissing ass the one who will receive the award. I mean, they normally give these things out to people who do work and are really good at it right?

We had this awards ceremony today. Basically, all the academic departments hand out awards to kids who excel in certain subjects and it's just a complete waste of time for the rest of us who don't get anything. I mean, the kids who win already know they win before hand so it's really pointless for the rest of us to sit there and watch them. Sure, they deserve recognition, but cutting into two whole class periods is kinda ridiculous.

Now I'm just really tired. Today has been rough. College counselor lady officially thinks I'm crazy. I hope. There were some really awkward moments, but I think the meeting was actually really helpful. It just made me realize I'll need to work a lot this Summer (which I'll hopefully keep up with), but I guess I'll play along.

Tomorrow is study day. I'm going to waste it! :D

-Allan

Another night of sleeping with the lights on...

CHICAGO! CHICAGO! CHICAGO!!!!

I can't seem to stay awake. Maybe I should lay off the coffee and try to normal out a bit. But coffee is so good to me...

I get to see my college counselor tomorrow. I haven't seen her in a few months. I have a feeling it's going to be kinda awkward and depressing because she's just gonna tell me I can't get into college.

Today was the last day of French III. We got candy and stuff! :D I got an 80% on my listening final even though I had no clue what the hell I was doing until about 3/4's of the test had gone by. You see, we were listening to conversations between two people and the questions mostly required you to choose to most logical response to the question being asked at the end of each dialogue. For some reason, I thought the question wasn't at the end so I spent most of the test just guessing. Hahaha. Then I read the directions and was like "Oh.....fuck!!!"

There's a Jeff Buckley documentary that's out right now (I think). I wanna see it.

I think this whole pop punk fad is one of the worst things to have happened to music. And by "pop punk", I mean those bands 12 year olds swoon over. You know the ones I'm talking about. The whiny vocals, the skinny jeans, all that hair product and the thoughtless lyrics just needs to stop. I mean, I'm not saying all of these bands are bad. It's just that 90% of them that are popular right now are. I only say this because I don't know. I can't take it so it's wrong? Hahaha.

Is it stupid to be upset with music? It is. It's been around for so long that things have unconsciously organized itself into neat little formats and formulas whether you like it or not. By now, it's just a matter of how good you are at making these your own which not many artists are doing. Like why do people start bands and play music? To get famous and hopefully make a living out of it so you don't need a normal job. It's so much easier to look pretty, win the hearts of 12 year olds, and and just go with that than not look pretty and try to actually put good music out.

"Oh, you're the fucking expert now aren't you?!"

YES! >=O

I'm ready to not wake up until well past noon thank you very much.

-Allan

Whiny whine whine

So none of my teachers apparently know me well enough to write a letter of recommendation for me. Hooray. I'm pretty fucked then I guess. Country band. Get ready to get back together.

But hey, at least I tried right?

Whatever. I give up. Yes, I really would like to go to college, but I'm sick and tired of people telling me that it is going to define the rest of my life. Yes, it can have a significant impact on how I spend the rest of my life, but at the same time, I don't care a whole lot about being rich and successful. As I see it, I'm perfectly content working some fucking dead end job and going nowhere with life.

Maybe that's just me trying to cope with failing. Who knows?

On a lighter note, well....there isn't a lighter note.

I'm ready to move away from everyone here. They all just about piss me off.

-Allan

Funcoland

Do you remember Funcoland? Do they still have Funcolands? Is that what they were called?

So occasionally, I like to play artist (doctor is over-rated). My current doodle of doom is what I like to call Audrey Hepzombie. Yes. This requires the watching of the "Breakfast At Tiffany's" even though Mickey Rooney's character is supposed to be hella offensive to Asians so I should be offended? Whatever.


Here's what I've very roughly gotten done so far. It probably won't end up looking much better. Maybe.

School's almost over. I actually want it to keep going. Because as awesome as my schedule is for Senior year, I'm scared for college. And report cards. And sitting at home the entire Summer after not being able to motivate myself to do anything.

This is the point in life where my blog bores the hell out of me. Like I don't even want to do it anymore. Part of me really wants to just retreat from the internet because it's just too much.

-Allan