Her name was Aubrey

Sometimes, things happen accidently that make me realize that a lot of rather important details about my family are kept away from me. I only learn about these things when someone's drunk or like years and years later when it doesn't matter anymore. I personally am okay with it since it just leaves less for me to worry about and I guess they think it's stuff I shouldn't worry about either. When I do learn about these things, it's always very "Woah, had no fucking clue that was happening..." They're not all bad things either. Just very large and hard to swallow in one sitting things.

That last sentence came out way wrong.

ZOOEY DESCHANEL! TOMMY FROM THAT ONE SHOW A BILLION YEARS AGO! SONG I REALLY LIKE!! THANK YOU FOR SHARING!!!! I really wanna see her do some song with her husband to be a.k.a Ben Gibbard from Death Cab. I'd blog all over that.

"Why do you wear a lock?!"

WHY AREN'T YOU A SEX PISTOLS FAN!? >=O

-Allan

This song was written by a serial killer

I spend a good amount of time in my aunt's office which has a laptop so I can do this. She works for some company that sells lingerie. There are giant posters of women with barely any clothes on everywhere and I'm the only other guy in the office (I get dirty looks when I stare at them). This leads me to my next point.

Seeing as all of my relatives here do work that involves shopping centers and buying crap, I see a ton of posters of people posing and trying to sell whatever brand of crap. They aren't like super famous models either. Super famous models are seen over and over again and get interviewed and stuff. The only proof that these people in the posters exist is the fact that they're standing their dressed uber hip and smiling at you. This leads me to wonder sometimes where these people are today. Are they still dressed uber hip and living the life or are they doing porn to try to get by?

We have a ton of fast food restaurants here. They've invaded the shit out of where I live. We have like two fucking Wal Marts. But there is not a single Starbucks. Okay, I don't like Starbucks all that much, but they're fucking everywhere so I was kinda hoping they would've opened a store here so I could get my fix. Nope. Fuck me. They're just gonna leave me here to die.

Beep beep boop.

-Allan

ROFLCOPTER

I've been here for like 2 days now and nothing has really happened yet. People aren't really down with drinking coffee all that much here so I've been going without it. That basically means I feel like shit. Yes.

My baby cousin is silly and really hyper. He also pees very spontaneously and without any warning. He almost went on my guitar case. That's the last time I leave it on the floor.

A couple thousand miles away and I'm still sitting on my butt in front of a laptop. Hooray. Now I'm gonna go run around screaming at people who don't understand me.

I will try not to keep doing this for the next few weeks. You read that right. Now go outside and rob a bank or something. Stop playing video games. Eat your vegetables. Don't read this and take it seriously person monitoring my posts.

-Allan

CGI sucks

This is where the picture of me bored as hell in the Hong Kong airport goes. Sadly, I can't figure out how to work the webcam on this labtop. This isn't my laptop. I rolled some fool and stole his (but not really).

The flight was boring as hell. No one sat next to me. I was all the way in the back in my two-person row. I did get to finally see "The Boat That Rocked". It's a realy good movie. Not enough Gemma Arterton though. She's really perty. Other than that, it was great. I watched that crappy Wolverine movie too. The CGI in that film was horrible. That part where he's cutting the fire escape with his claws was so bad I had a hard time holding back my laughter. They also totally raped Gambit. He wasn't Cajun at all. Fuck you person who directed that movie. Now I have to kill 12-14 hours doing god knows what. I'm gonna make 800 trips to Starbucks as soon as this laptop runs out of juice and I have nothing better to do.

I am a horrible traveler. I keep forgetting to take my belt off during security and I just had to drag my fucking guitar with me. That thing is causing me nothing but grief right now. Everytime I check in for a flight, the person's like "We might not have enough room to store that on the plane so you might have to check it in (and let the people who handle the luggage destroy it)". I haven't had to yet. I've got one more flight and I hope I still won't have to.

I feel weird blogging in public. Plus, some guy behind me keeps looking over. Haha.

I don't even know what gate my flight is gonna be at yet. I probably won't for another few hours. Now I'm gonna go wander..

-Allan

When Punk Goes Bad Haircuts And Skinny Jeans Goes Crunk

I can't remember what day it was, but it was sometime after I got my new contacts. We were driving into San Francisco from Oakland. You get a decent view of downtown with all the tall buildings and houses littered all over the place. The first thought that ran into me head was "I wish I had a katamari..." Yep. That game totally fucks up the way you look at things.

-Allan

P.S. Florence and the Machine totally stole my idea. If you go look through their pictures on their myspace, there's a picture that I can only assume Florence drew of a bird and it says "Fuck You" on the side. That's my steez. I want royalties for that! >=O

Wilco (the blog post)

No one plays math rock and roll anymore. Nope.

It could be the result of my lack of sleep and poor eating habits, but I've been finding staring at any form of quick movement to be a painful experience. I get dizzy and I just wanna lie down.

That sentence was good. Years of English just chucked out the window.

I got a new prescription for my contacts. I can actually see everything crystal clear again! It's like life went HD on me. I guess it's my fault for not complaining about not being able to read stuff far away even with glasses on.

I wonder if they forgot to send me my schedule or if they're just trying to find a nice way to tell me they don't want me anymore. I have to order my books and if I don't get anything within the next 5 days, I probably will have to order them from China. I've also completely forgotten about the AP Enviromental Science assignment. I will have to BS a lot of stuff and hope it works out.

I need ways to overcome a 14 hour flight then a 12 hour layover. Knowing the stupid company that does all the flights back to where I live, it will probably end up being delayed for another 12 hours and I end up spending an entire day in the Hong Kong airport. I can probably still tell you the layout of the Hong Kong airport because I've spent too much fucking time there.

-Allan

Broke bitches go on tour

So my uncle in China had a baby a while back. He's suppose to be really fat and apparently looks exactly like me when I was a baby. That's besides the points. We send em baby formula and stuff because the formula in China is not safe nor is it actually all that healthy.

Fast forward to today.

I was having lunch with my parents when my mom all of a sudden decides it's a better idea to send me with a heavy suitcase back to china than to just ship the crap to them. So, I'm gonna go spend a few weeks in China and make it back like a day or two before school starts. Hooray! Eat that Cabal! I can't play you from China.

This means I get to miss the Matches show. I won't make the RXB show either. Poop.

Maybe I'll bum a bit of guitar gear off my filthy rich uncles. That makes me sound like an asshole. Har har har.

Vietnam! Fishing trips! ITALIAN OPERA!!

-Allan