Heartsheartshearts!

My brain is bleeding Bio.

I GOT AN OFFER TODAY!!! I don't know if I wanna sell it to the guy since he's not willing to pay the full $300 (I told him $280 is the lowest I'm willing to go). I'm not super desperate to sell my guitar so I don't know. Maybe I'll wait around until someone who wants to pay $300 if he turns out to be not rad. Maybe I'll sell it to this person. Who knows?!

Wouldn't it be funny if they like googled my e-mail, found my blog and read all of this?! Hahaha.

So I got into AP Environmental Science, Neurobiology, and Robotics for Senior year. I don't really get how I got APES since I don't remember asking for it, but I'll try it out to see how it goes. I haven't taken an AP yet so I guess I might as well do one. I'm stoked for my other two Science electives though. The teachers that teach those classes are super awesome.



These gentlemen are called The Envy Corps. They sound kinda like Radiohead without all the famous. Haha. No offense Radiohead. They're really good so I think it's time you listen to them. Click away at the picture.

-Allan

Stop all that dark and senseless brooding

I love Dear and the Headlights. So much. Ian Metzger is like one of the most awesomest besterest song-writers I've ever listened to. He so tops Conor Oberst. Not that I really think Conor Oberst is like #1. But I just need something super famous to compare to right? Go listen to any of their songs. He just has such a crazy way with words. The song "Talk About" makes absolutely no sense, but you just have to enjoy the lyrics.

Why the hell am I blogging so much in the morning? I should be reading up on Bio. I skimmed the contents section of my prep book and I feel less scared since I've basically covered all the Bio that will "probably" be on the test in school. So it's just a bunch of refreshing and trying to cram the essentials of a school year's worth of Bio into my head.

Wanna buy my guitar? Live in the Bay Area? Wanna see my cheesy ad that probably won't sell it?!

MOOO!!!!!!

I love you.

-Allan

Russian Dolls

All the things I encounter in my life connect with one another in really funny ways.

My plan at this moment is to attempt to sell my acoustic guitar. I can hopefully get $300+ for it since I bought it for $400 and it's still in pretty good shape. Then with that possible $300+, I'll buy both an autoharp and a crappier Epiphone acoustic. That will all happen through the magic of craigslist.

BIO! BIO! BIO!!! I still have about 400+ pages of Bio to tear through by Saturday morning! I'm actually nervous as hell about this subject test. Not necessarily because I'll do poorly on it. It's just that if I do do poorly, my parents are gonna go crazy and any plans I may have had to do anything (i.e. breathe, sleep, eat) may be put on a halt.

Then I'm gonna completely forget I also have to take a Literature subject test. Haha. I can't really study for that. I feel good about it though since I don't usually do too poorly on the English-y parts of the SAT.

LIFE! LIFE! LIFE!!!

-Allan

White Elephant

Good morning.

I wanted to blog. All over the place.

What?

It's almost May. That means a Lydia show! HOORAY!

-Allan

Southern Rock

After today, I am convinced that:

A. I am crazy. Like "belongs in an institution" crazy.

B. I am done with people. I don't wanna have to interact with people anymore. It's too much work.

So yea, I had a GREAT day.

Most of it was spent almost walking into people. You know when you almost walk into a person then try to move aside, but that person moves to the same side and both of you do this awkward dance until someone works something out?! That happened all day. It reminds me of "The Science of Sleep" and the whole Parallel Synchronized Randomness thing.

The only good thing about prom is that some of my teachers actually care about all the "prama" and we end up killing half an hour talking about who's going with who. The bad thing about prom is how people can't just be like "Oh, you're not going? Okay." It's always "NO!!! You HAVE to go! It's prom!" I don't go "Oh, you're going? WHY?! YOU SHOULD STAY HOME!!!" then spend a hot minute trying to convince you to not go. It's not exactly fair now is it children? Also, people take it too seriously. Some kid looked like he was about to kill himself because I can only assume the girl he asked either said "no" or someone asked her first. Minus the fact he's over-dramatic about everything and I do feel bad for him, life goes on man.

I'll stop talking so much about something I don't care about.

Sometimes, I feel like being committed to a mental institution would be better than all this. At least then you're no longer a functioning person and basically no one expects anything but crazy out of you.

More crazy thoughts.



Music video.

Good day.

-Allan

Willeta

This girl sings. Pretty well. Probably the reason why I want an autoharp so bad too.

I AM GETTING THAT FUCKING AUTOHARP! RAWR!!! I'm at the point of just swallowing pride and possibly getting in a ton of trouble by making someone I know buy me one. Then I'd spend months trying to pay that person back and realize I really hate the autoharp.

I've said this before in my old blog, which I deleted today by the way. I rather have 10 people who really enjoy what I'm doing and know it very well than 100 people who "only know one song". Hope that answers your question.

In other words, I'm grateful. Yea.

So I've concluded that coffee does have an effect on me. It makes me really upbeat and giddy. It also makes it harder to understand any of my off key remarks about things that I randomly find super interesting and must share. I was trying to explain to someone about a part in "Slaughterhouse Five" where one of the characters goes on about how he killed a dog by feeding it a steak (I wrote snake originally) covered in glass. Then I was trying to connect it to some movie or show that had a similar scene, but couldn't recall what it was (it was Dollhouse). The whole time, the person listening to me just looked really lost and was trying really hard to just listen. That just makes me feel bad because these things just keep firing out of my mouth non-stop and it's hard to avoid without being mean to me. Even right now I don't feel like I'm making any sense.

My French project is due May 8th. Which means sometime next week. Okay. I won't worry about it until after my SAT stuff. Plus, I'm reluctant about singing in front of my class.

Fuckety fuck. I'll stop now.

-Allan

I don't have a post titled "I'm Sorry"?

Really? Okay.

I make a lot of typos. This is not because I can't spell. Well, okay. You caught me. I can't spell, but that really isn't the reason. I promise.

I really want an autoharp right now. It looks simple enough to play when all I want is a chord with a push of a button. Got an autoharp you don't want?! Wanna make a few bucks (I mean this somewhat literally)?! HIT ME UP YO!

I say that like anyone besides like one person actually reads this.

I'll need to get famous.

-Allan

Old Sweater

she left with an old sweater and most of my pride. a thoughtful goodbye. she left with that dollar I lent her. said she needed to breathe. how sweet.

-Allan

Little Man Being Erased

Okay, so maybe the grey works better.

This coming week is going to be hell. I have to write papers, get all of my French project out of the way (which will only be a distraction to those papers since it's kinda fun), take Bio test, and study for the Bio subject test which I've neglected to do for weeks. On top of that, I'm freakin' lazy so it's probably gonna all happen very half-assed.

Then I have to read Hamlet. I don't like it too much. Then again, I've never liked reading plays.

Complain, complain.

I'm listening to Radiohead right now. I'm trying to make myself like the two albums by them I've just never liked. Those two would be "Hail to the Thief" and "Kid A". Maybe you can't force these kind of things.

The new Conor Oberst album comes out sometime in May. I'm stoked. More and more people keep telling me Conor Oberst sucks. Oh well. Can't win 'em all.

I've still got a book and a half to read. One of them needs to probably be done by today because I have to return it to the school library.

-Allan

But it's Spring/Summer/Season

I slave over a hot Photoshop.

If this new layout color is in any way unpleasant, please file a complaint to my fan club and they'll try to get back to you as soon as possible.

I thought I'd make things a bit more cheery to offset the depressing that is my blog.

"Dolly" has evolved into something decent. I forgot a handful of lines I came up with in the shower (where the most brilliant ideas hit me) so I feel bad. I should stop. All this wannabe song-writer bullshit just makes me realize how I rather just not be the one doing it. Even with that said my goal currently is to just come up with enough material to be able to stand in front of someone and say, "Fuck you, I'm taking 45 minutes of your time." Exactly like that.

It also sucks that no one I know finds this whole music stuff amusing. Like they don't wanna sit around and play instruments all day and stuff. There's really no one for me to "play" with that sense. I guess I'm at the wrong school for that.

I'm going to make an effort to learn how to drive. Well, make it so I can legally be on the road. I really wanna go on a road trip. Cut right across this country, see what it's really about and maybe stop and crash on a few couches along the way. Let the people of the internet see how weird I really am in person. But more importantly, just to rip off every road trip movie ever filmed. Plus, it would be better than sitting around in Oakland for one more summer.

With that plan comes the need for money. Gas, camera, spears for hunting bison, etc. Minus the fact I don't have money and spend basically every bit of it on guitar-related doodads, I will also need some sort of job. Fuck it. I'll stay in Oakland.

-Allan

Oh my god what have I done?!

oh this could be the end, of something "horrendous" and the start of that same place. where all I feel pours out in some careless, clumsy way. where "this is the best idea, honey" stops being a thought, takes some kind of shape. where we just jump right in. right in. so tape it on your face and try to feel proud. put it in a jar it's sure to run out. on everything everyone told you it would be. until it makes you label it all with "disease". then put it in a box. yea throw it out. you're still worried it'll never last, I've carefully detailed the end. cause were going about it all wrong, look at the numbers and trends. so why take that chance when we can be insured for an unsure "when?" but before then. before then. blah blah blah....

There. That's cool right? RIGHT?! TELL ME IT'S COOL! Or tell me it completely sucks and I should never quit my day job. Tell me too much shit is in quotes and it's too mushy goddamn depressing. Okay?

It's not done. It has no name (though I do like "shutthefuckupmotherfuckersongofdoom", which I wrote on the paper this came from). This isn't even what I wrote on paper. This has changed because I added more words. Tried to be clevererer. It'll keep changing. Maybe until forever. Maybe until I feel it is clevererest. Maybe I'll throw it into an ash tray and burn it. MWAHAHAHA?!

I'm probably about 10% coffee right now so I'm very hyper. I feel slightly like a whore and slightly accomplished. A bit embarrassed and really hungry. What? WHAT?! I have put it out there though. I'm gonna start posting more of this crap. I've got more "ideas" that don't have anything to do with Charlotte already. Fuck Charlotte.

Okay, maybe that was mean. No. It wasn't. I'm actually very hyper. I'm scared.

Thank you for nominating me for that thingy. I appreciate it. I really do. I really, really, really do.

Did this post scare you? Did it leave a horrible taste in your mouth? Do you want something with talent? Check this blog out please:

ADAM'S ART OF DOOM


Adam draws things. They're quite good. You love zombies because of it?

-Allan

Paper Bag

That's a really good song too. "Paper Bag" by Dear and the Headlights.

Now....



HTF JUNKFOOD?!! What's sad is I don't feel bad at all eating crap like this. :D

The next post will be so much cooler.

-Allan

More music.

I find the lyrics to this song bloody amazing. LOVE IT! LOVE IT NOW!!!! >=O

-Allan

Voodoo Child

I feel very talentless right now. It just hit me.

You can write. You can draw. You can sing. You can make heads explode.

I can fuck shit up and annoy you like nobody's business.

Oh wait....

-Allan

1983

I haven't even started applying to colleges and I'm already tired of hearing about it. What I want is stupid and probably won't get me anywhere in life. What my parents want is stupid and unrealistic. What everyone else wants I could care less about.

My French teacher said she was very excited to see the outcome of my French project from hell. She probably won't be once it gets going. Hahaha.

You know what sucks about SAT subject tests? Dynasty Warriors: Strikeforce comes out like 4 days before I have to take them. I'm probably like the only person who still really likes to play Dynasty Warriors. Yes, it's very repetitive hack n' slashing for billions of hours, but I like it. Plus this new one is uber shiny and the avatar for Zhen Ji got even better. :D

Refrigerator! REFRIGERATOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-Allan

I've been rapping for about seventeen years...

I forgot what I was gonna say here.

Or here.

Or here.

Mostly what I was gonna say here.

I've determined that I'm just incredibly lonely. So much to the point where it's just creepy. No, that's not right. Haha.

Yes. It is MY blog. I should probably talk about MYSELF in MY blog. But I don't trust the internet anymore either. Until we work something, you're probably gonna get more music and filler.

So here's a list of things I'm still capable of writing:

-Blog posts
-Papers/Essays
-Death threats

Everything else just gets attacked by writer's block. Since the idea of having writer's block was brought up recently (you know you love that reference to your blog), I've realized how badly I've got it. Today someone told me to help them write a poem (though they weren't completely serious). It was then I realized I couldn't even do that. It didn't have to rhyme and wasn't THAT complicated. I still couldn't think of anything to contribute. FUCK!! RUN FOR THE HILLS!!!

Maybe that's all a lie. Maybe this has all been a lie since day eleventy. Maybe this lie about lying is just a lie.

You're probably thinking "bullshit". But cut me some slack. I need to have "problems" too.

-Allan

I'm A Label

It's so hot. I wanna kill myself. Okay, maybe it's not that bad, but it's pretty hot.
I hate hot weather. I'm unable to do anything in it.

Apparently, being a music major means I have to audition to attempt to get into a college. Yes, I've heard that it isn't THAT hard to get into music school, but I don't wanna audition. I don't play anything that impresses.

ARGH!

-Allan

Run In The Front

Run in the front like you said
I’m sad I’ll miss it send it back in the photographs
And I could use a vacation myself
My eyes are bored
Stuck in the lot for days
Manager said I can’t make “just one more mistake”
So I’ll just hang my head and say sorry
Wouldn’t be the first time

And you, I’m missing you, I don’t want to
I'll be missing you, I'm missing you, I don't want to
I'll be missing you, I'm missing you, I don't want to
But I will
See the gray in your hair, Angel
Your beauty can’t be covered by insecurity
I hope the same truth would still hold true for me
‘Cause I drowned in mine

Calling John on the phone
I’m panicking after three rings I don’t think that he’s home
He makes my head much lighter you know
With just some words he says
“C’mon now now it’s not so bad
I’m sorry that you feel that way no you’re not useless
You don’t even have to think about it
Things will work out just fine”

And you, I’m missing you, I don’t want to
I'll be missing you, I'm missing you, I don't want to
I'll be missing you, I'm missing you, I don't want to
But I will
See the gray in your hair, Angel
Your beauty can’t be covered by insecurity
I hope the same truth would still hold true for me
‘Cause I drowned in mine

Run in the front like you said
I’m sad I’ll miss it send it back in the photographs
And I could use a vacation myself
My eyes are bored

Hours to waste turns into full weeks, then months, then into me
A life long disease
The gray in your hair still means hope for me
That beauty won’t be hidden easily
That truth could still hold true for me

I could use a vacation myself

This song makes me happy right now. It does.

-Allan

Pretty Couldn't Save

MORE ZOMBIE INVASION DREAMS!!! This time, it was like "Land of the Dead". Minus the huge ass tank. In case you didn't know, these are quite normal for me.

I watched this movie called "The Happening". Its stars Mark Wahlberg and Zooey Deschanel (oh, shallow me). Zooey Deschanel couldn't save this movie. I don't know what made her wanna have anything to do with this movie. Mark's acting was horrible. His character was like a 4-year old who had random fits here and there and talked like he belonged in one of those Bill and Ted movies. The whole deal with the movie was that plants were releasing these toxins into the air that made people delusional and kill themselves. That's it. There's actually very little for me to spoil. That's the whole fucking movie. Running from plants, people, and the fucking wind. This movie was directed by M. Night Shyamalan so you know it has to have a twist ending. From what I can tell, the twist is that the epidemic starts up in France after it stops here in the U.S? Then one of the guys mumbles something about loving his bicycle (I'm so glad I take French) and yea. Don't watch it. Read my "review". It's WAY better. Hahaha.

Someone buy me one of these:



-Allan

This Could Be Fatal

I got "Swoon". It's okay. I like "Carnavas" better.

I haven't been sleeping well. I try really hard to fall asleep, but my head just refuses to turn off. Like every stupid little thing just surfaces and I end up laying in bed awake for hours feeling like shit. 'Cause they're not happy thoughts. Noooo.

I have been thinking about selling all my other guitars (everything but Lo'). Most of them aren't doing anything and I'm not really down with my acoustic all that much anymore. It's kinda smaller than a standard size acoustic (too girly, haha) and I found out what the Epiphone SJ-200EC was. SOOOOO PUURRRTYYY!!!

Yesterday at school, they handed out the prom invites. For a school who wants to be hella "green", it was probably the biggest waste of roses ever. The invite was basically a white rose with a little card tied to it. I broke mine (which was kind of an accident) then composted it. A ton of people just left theirs lying around. Maybe like a handful of girls kept theirs. Keep it up folks.

Okay. I've killed way too much time trying to fit stuff into this post. Good day.

On the way down.

Or I could just run everything through auto-tune! WE NEED MORE AUTO-TUNE! EVERYTHING SHOULD BE AUTO-TUNE!!!!!!! MORE ROBOT PLEASE!!!!

I had a dream about another zombie invasion. This one was relatively quick, but quite painful since like most of my family turned into zombies and you know what we have to do to zombies. By "relatively quick", I mean zombies came and fucked shit up for all of ten minutes then they had the whole thing under control. That would be a lame zombie invasion.

Can I take a moment to stress how I'm just not down with people (meaning the big important critics and the whole mainstream media) consider "good" music? Like what the fuck? Why the hell are people like Lil' Wayne and all those Disney Channel produced children so famous? Can we take those people and make up a new category for whatever the hell it is they really do? Anything to separate that crap from music. Let's just not call it music. It isn't.



And after all that, here's a plug. It's a new Silversun Pickups album! :O I personally have not heard it yet so I have no clue what it sounds like. The critics seem to all think it's just noise and a Smashing Pumpkins rip-off. But I like noise. Maybe you like noise too. Maybe you'd like the Silversun Pickups. Maybe you'd end up the best of friends with the Silversun Pickups after saving them from a freak, rabies-infected llama. Who knows? I do recommend getting their first album, "Carnavas", before you even attempt to listen to "Swoon" (in case it does actually suck and it leaves a bad taste in your mouth).

Well, I'm gonna sit around and not do stuff since I don't have class first period today. MORE PATAPON!!!

-Allan

I'm Bored, You're Amorous

The thing that sucks the most about being sick is that I can't sing. Not that I can normally, but the stuffy nose and the messed up throat don't help. How else am I gonna pretend like I'm awesome?!

Uhh....

I give up.

-Allan

I'll Be A Rich Man In China

Time to get blog out of my system before I embark on trying to study for super history test of doom. Damn you Europe and all your stupid "isms" and revolutions and what not.

Teachers (and everyone else) like to make fun of my super torn pants with huge, gaping holes where my knees should be. I felt like commenting on that. Did I even comment on that?

Shoop doop ba doop.

NOW TO DRINK A CRAP LOAD OF COFFEE AND PRETEND LIKE I ACTUALLY DO WORK!!!

-Allan

Cat-scratched Vinyl

I officially retract everything I said in the last post except the stuff about The Hot Toddies and the leopard print pickguard.

I don't know how I convinced myself to get up today, but I did. There's absolutely nothing important going on at school today so I really should stay home. Maybe I'll see if I can cause I really just wanna sleep some more.

Okay?

-Allan

Downtown Table

My earlier post was a bit rushed. To clarify, The Hot Toddies are going on a fairly long tour. If you like The Hot Toddies, do go out and see them since they're great live. If you don't like The Hot Toddies, they'll steal your rims and drink all your booze. So like them.

I've become borderline delusional. Maybe it's cause I'm sick. I've been thinking less and just letting words pour out of my mouth in the past few days. Sometimes it's funny. Other times it's kinda awkward. I think a handful of people are actually worried I've gone completely insane.

Fuck. I actually just feel worse and worse every day. I don't think the cold meds are doing anything. Now I'm coughing. I wasn't coughing yesterday!

I write to whoever the hell wants to read sweetheart. You're not that special. :D

You know what I really, really, really, really, really, really want at this very moment?! LIKE RIGHT NOW!! THIS VERY MOMENT!!!!! Wait for it.... wait for it....

A LEOPARD PRINT PICKGUARD! OW!!!! Lola needs to look more shallow.

Okay okay okay.

-Allan

MORE TOUR!!!

You + The Hot Toddies = <3?!

-Allan

Ophelia

I am still very, very sick. I rarely get sick so when I do, it (for a lack of a better verb) rapes me. I half dozed off in almost all of my classes today. My parents never let me stay home when I'm sick so I couldn't rest. Okay, maybe they did like once or twice when I physically couldn't pick myself off the floor, but never for a cold or anything that doesn't mean I might die.

On a lighter note, I've become addicted to Patapon. News at nine.

I just got an IM which made me somewhat angry. I'm am absolutely amazed at how big of an asshole certain people are. Said person (not the one IMing me) wants to get paid to tech FADE, but not actually have to work or do anything and can just "come and go" as he pleases, but still charge for everything. This is coming from a guy who dropped out of the show a few days ago. Fuck him. Who the hell does he think he is? Fuck. I really hope no one running the show thinks that's a good idea. I'll lose respect for everyone involved in the show if that goes.

I'm still a little shocked anyone would even ask for something like that.

At what point does your ego just grow so big that you can convince yourself you can do that? That it's OKAY for you to do whatever the fuck it is you like and everyone else is suppose to just bend over and take it?

Do you shoot people for a living? Call me.

-Allan

Remember Me When You're Shaving Your Legs

It is 2009 after all...

I'm pretty sick right now. Just one day before school starts again. I am a fucking genius! WOO! I feel like hell. I wanna go to sleep, but I can't when I actually try. This just ends up in me wasting hours laying in bed doing nothing.

My grandma (the awesome one) gave me a container filled with coins today. She said there was about twenty bucks in there. That's one of the weirder things I've been given in a while.

I watched a couple of videos of Les Pauls being made at the Gibson factory (because I'm that much of a dork). It made replacing the bridge and stuff look real easy. Haha. I only say this because the previous owner managed to wipe off most of the gold paint on parts of my Lo's bridge (sweaty hands? maybe?) and some of the gold paint bubbled. I'm probably not gonna do anything. I don't wanna break a nice guitar.

Well, I still feel like shit. Feel bad for me. Now!

Have a good Easter?

-Allan

All The World's A Stage

Here's where setting my priorities straight kicks in.

So there's a show every year (since they started doing it) at my school put together by out resident dance troupe, FADE. What FADE is basically is a bunch of girls who spend a ton of money to choreograph some silly dance moves and on costumes then parade around for like two days. I mean, they're not complete shit so I shouldn't talk smack about them, but they do waste quite a bit of money. Fast forward, fast forward. As a techie, being able to tech FADE is an opportunity to make a good amount of cash since you can charge for the most bullshit things and the school will pay you. Also a chance for creepers to stare at girls while they change backstage. Awesome right? Sure. It's great. It's even better if they told you they don't fucking need your help until the very last minute. "Oh, can you show up at 11 tomorrow? We also have practice from 6pm to 10pm for the first half of this coming week. You can make it right?" I took a lot of shit for doing Footloose. I haven't quite recovered from that since all my teachers are still not down with me helping out with all these shows. So yea. My immediate answer was "Fuck. No." A lot of people have dropped from the show. Techies, dancers, creepy molesters. I don't care enough about FADE to work for it. Sorry. You can easily find someone else to take your bullshit.

I probably will end up doing it though if they can't find a replacement techie. I'm apparently the last competent one that hasn't dropped from the show. I don't trust even the smallest tasks with the freshmen techies. They break body parts (i.e. BOTH ARMS RIGHT BEFORE A PLAY) and leave equipment turned on over-night even though their only job is to listen to what we tell them to do and do that one task.

Blah blah blah.

Fuck it. I'm running away. You'll never find me and I am most definitely not the disheveled homeless man in your closet.

Good morning.

-Allan

Vass

Dear TV shows,

Can you like please not suck? Or at least just more Summer Glau without the weird, destroyed terminator face. Haha.

Well, I can't blame the people who make these shows. I'm the one who seeks out the worst shows on TV and watch them religiously.

Okay.

My throat hurts right now. Probably had something to do with that patty melt I made. Probably not. I'm not that bad a cook...

MY NEW FAVORITE CONDIMENT:

Honey mustard!

I like it. Shut up.

Can this post be more disjointed? Hell yea it can.

Spring break is almost over. Poop. I haven't done anything exciting. Test a bunch of computers then realize I really hate computers. Not much else. I never do anything exciting. MAKE ME DO SOMETHING EXCITING!!!!!!!

-Allan

I Get Paid To Breathe. Hooray For Me.

Hello.

(Insert things I have to say)

Goodbye.

-Allan

We need a classier title for a post like this

These people are known as The Honey Trees. They're my new find of the day. If you're down with stuff like Eisley, you'd really like this band. If you like girl fronted bands, you'll have a fucking ball. I've also made it so you can just conveniently click that picture and end up at a myspace page where you can get a taste for what they sound like. Aren't I nice?

I found out about them from this awesome blog that has a ton of music up for cheap music fans like me to download. Not gonna promote the blog though since I don't wanna be caught advocating them (not that enough people read this thing for it to be a problem). They also have a ton of screamo (a very generic term for screaming music in my book) stuff. Sure, I'm super down with screaming when done tastefully (it can happen). I'm just not down with all the screamo bands who all sound the exact same, dress the exact same, have identical looking members, and all have a stupid band name involving killing a girl (i.e. Hannah, Catherine, Gwen, etc.) or doing something equally horrible to a girl or something involving blood or burning something down. They also not ashamed to push their merch in your face with 8 billion banners on their freakin' myspaces.

I realized a super suck at changing guitar strings. That and I keep telling myself I can't fuck up because it's a really nice guitar and that makes me nervous and I end up doing worse. I didn't even have to change strings really. I just don't like the way the previous guy strung em and I'm super picky about that kinda stuff. I do it the Justin Sandercoe way (which if I tried to explain, would make this post even longer) and I normally do a good job. That and I keep thinking the strings are slipping because the damn thing won't stay in tune. It's a four year old guitar and a freakin' Les Paul so it shouldn't have that problem yet. Things seem to stay in tune better now, but maybe it's all placebo.

"MORE GUITAR TALK! WE WANT MORE TALKING ABOUT GUITARS LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!"

I love you too disembodied voice I occasionally use to spice up these posts.

So I'm really close to pulling a Radiohead. What that means is I'm about to just cut up all the bits and pieces of various "songs", put them in a hat, draw out lines at random, put it all together, and say that Kurt Cobain was my biggest influence when none of it makes sense. I probably have enough stuff written down to produce at least three songs that way. Or.... I let the fuckers change until I can't stand writing the same old thing for months and give up. Or I can actually live life a bit more, go out and date older women, develop a drinking problem, hurt a bunch of friends, go to New York City, follow more people into the dark, and come out a changed man with a bunch of things to write about. Hahaha.

Sleep very tight.

-Allan

Also....

If you live in/near one of these cities, go. Go for the good of mankind.

-Allan

Oh darling you've fucked up

I've played Parappa. Oh man. I've PLAYED Parappa. It's made driving and flea markets all the more awesome?

Who'd ever thunk an EBow could be that expensive? I've added the EBow to my ever-going list of guitar equipment things I'll someday be able to afford and shut up about. But $100?! REALLY?! For a tiny little battery powered magnet thing (at least that's what I assume it is)? Then again, I've paid $600 for a piece of wood with magnets and strings that usually would go for $1300. Those little metal boxes that make your guitar make funny noises aren't cheap either. Nor is that giant box that all this shit goes into so it can regurgitate it all back out in the form of music or loud noises that piss people off. This is not a cheap hobby kids. Keep that in mind.

I'm fucking stoked about Lydia playing at Bottom of the Hill. I don't know how I'm gonna convince my parents to buy the tickets since I've been an uncooperative little fuck. I mean, I normally just get tickets at the door for shows there (which got me in free once to a DESA/Facing New York/Love You Moon/Not In That Specific Order show). But Lydia's kinda growing. They're not new, but they're getting kinda famous? All them indie kids dig this shit (I am a hypocrite). So I don't wanna risk not being able to get a ticket at the door and thus I must somehow get them onlines.

Which leads me to more Lydia. MORE LYDIA?! No. Not really.

I've had some weird dreams lately. I guess I'll talk about that. I broke the neck on someone else's guitar in one. That's what I remember the most. The rest is a blur, but I recall it all being crazy and making absolutely no sense. There's this other one I remember fairly well too that's got me all worried. It was something like I had to take two different SAT/college-related tests in one day and they were both really important. I showed up at one of them late and half-way through that one, I remembered I had completely forgotten about and missed the other one and they were not allowing me to re-take it ever again. Then it just kept going down hill. Does that reflect my future? Cause all this crap is happening in less than two months. Maybe I should be less nonchalant about all this, but if I start to worry, I fucking WORRY.

This post is not long enough. We have the technology. It will get longer. Did that come out wrong?

No it won't.

-Allan

GOLOALALALALA!!!!!!!11111

It's a Monday.

I just beat Metal Gear Portable Ops. It was an okay game. It's too different from the PS2 counter-parts and I don't like change. =/ I enjoyed it though. That's the most important part and the moral of this story.

It's too hot to play guitar. I don't like it when it's too hot to play guitar. Especially cause I have to close the door and my room is poorly ventilated and there's no AC cause we don't believe in it. Blah blah blah.

-Allan

Kicking Your Crosses Down

Fuck yes I do.

I found one of those cassette tape things with the jack that you can plug into your CD player so you can play CD's through your old car stereo (because some of us can't afford those shiny CD playing car stereos). Now if only I drove, I could put it to use.

I don't trust my thoughts with a blank piece of paper. I think that's my biggest issue at he moment. Who the hell does it think it is to be able to hear my jumbled thoughts in some sort of rhyme scheme? We'll have to work something out.

I do have to say rejection probably feels a lot better than this right now. "This" would probably have to be unrequited whatever. Here that kids? So you get turned down. It's WAY better than this.

So I'm just like a big, fat emotional masochist. Cause it makes me feel special. HOORAY!

Does that make you shake your head? Does it makes you wanna punch someone in the vajayjay? Does that hurt (I mean, yea it hurts, but does it hurt like a dude would feel)? Am I getting too invasive?

Okay Oakland.

-Allan

Damn it Johnny. Damn it.

I'm very tired of planning ahead.

I'm tired of thinking about futures.

Hell. I'm tired of everything. I wanna escape, but if I do, I'm not so sure I'll ever come back.

It's like I really wanna end up miserable and amounting to nothing. I actively resist success.

So now I have a week to get everything in order. I probably won't, but I'll tell myself I have that option to make me feel better.

I have no clue what I'm talking about anymore. Sorry. I'm very disoriented right now. I fucking hate every single little thing right now.

-Allan

Fundamentally Lonely

Okay. I'm officially on Spring Break. Fuck life, I'm gonna sleep a lot.

Which won't happen. My week's gonna have to be filled with testing computers, drinking coffee, writing, reading, making noise, SAT studying, hating life, and drooling over random assorted objects I can't afford.

I really want a synthesizer now. After seeing Ratatat, I really want one. Stuff like that only helps me grow musically. I don't know if that's true, but whatever. I want a synth. Got a shitty SK-1 you really don't want? I'll take it. :D

Good day sir.

-Allan

Quack

I was worried you died in a freak smelting accident or something.... Plus, your comments aren't creepy. Some of those other ones though, man...

Last night, I saw a little band called Ratatat at the Fillmore. It was not what I expected at all and was in fact awesome with all kinds of things on top. They are really good. They've got some good songs and a killer live show. I don't normally listen to stuff like that, but I really liked it. The opening bands were pretty good too. Okay, one of them. The first one was this MC called Despot. He was just like one dude onstage with a mic and a journal with dicks drawn everywhere. Aesop Rock made a little appearance during one of his new songs. He was good. The second band I still have no clue what they're called. They sucked. You really had to be tripping on a lot of shit to be able to enjoy them. I can only describe them as crappy electronic music with really, really repetitive beats. I got really bored after the first song. And that was it. Then Ratatat came onstage and fucking killed. HOORAY!

Also...

LYDIA'S PLAYING AT BOTTOM OF THE HILL ON MAY 29!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! Sure, it's really close to finals and the SAT's, but fuck it! I NEED TO GO SEE THIS SHOW!!!!!! RAWR!!!!!!!

-Allan

You're not sincere, you're not sincere are you?

Today is April Fools day. So this blog is gonna trick you.

Did you know that you should stop problems while they're tiny so they never grow out of hand? So babies, you're running out of luck. Thanks "Le petit prince"! :D

Track hurts. I'm so out of shape. Haha. We don't even run that much. Just a lot of exercising.

Oh. I can't escape you. Not yet at least.

PSYCH! APRIL FOOLS! WOOO! YEA!!! BUTTS!!!

If I'm lucky, I'll get to be in a huge ass crowd of people tomorrow. WOO!

-Allan