Bare and brittle

Valentine was a man with plan
A true business man
Why not exploit the lovers
With notions of trying to get laid?
And the ones who aren't love
They'll pay to express their hate
"I'll be a rich man!"

-Allan

Drive all over time

I don't think I can stand this place anymore.
It's no longer a home, it's a cage.
I know everything. I'm just bored now.
Everyone here just drinks all the time.
So it's not so wrong that I feel alone.
Bob's getting laid, Billy has a girlfriend.
I just jack off and go to rock shows by myself.
I'll probably do that when I leave here too.

-Allan

Castle Builders

I wish I was a wit vampire. It's like a normal vampire except for the fact that instead of sucking out blood, I'd suck out all of the victim's witty thoughts and comments. I would be the most charming and clever thing on two legs since the invention of the two-legged toaster. If I ever need a witty comeback, I'd simply suck it out of you. Then you would be dead so I guess it would be pointless. Did I mention people die when they get drained of all their wit? It's true.

-Allan

A big ol' fad

My name is Ted
I use my cellphone to see in the dark
I flip my pillow over to get to the cold side
I will slightly go out of my way to step on that crunchy looking leaf
I hate it when I take off my shoe and my sock comes off with it
I'm very interesting.

-Allan

Buy my car

I am going to wait until she's a bit older, divorced
And a total cougar
That's when I'll move in
I'll be like what? Thirty?
She'll still be just right
I don't think it's wrong
This is what true love is
None of that fairy tale bullshit
It's pretty ugly ain't it?
I have wants, she has needs
No use drowning ourselves
They don't need to understand, but they could shut their mouths
I don't care either way
I'm happy

-Allan

Chop Squad

Technically this is artsy. I will keep doing it for a while. Maybe you enjoy it. Maybe it's a good laugh. I think in very disjointed sentences.

-Allan

Pocket Jingle

A present came in the mail today
It told me to wait
What for?
To open it
I know, it sounds like a horrible deal
But I'll have a little bit of faith this time
And if this one fails
There will be more along the way

-Allan