I'm ready to owe you anything

I kinda used to have things to say. Now I am just fucking with you. In case you didn't pick up on that. I am. I am I am I am I am I am. I am so done with this.

Melody 5

He turns and he says to me, "How do you feel about moving to San Antonio? You know, we're probably better off there."

I don't respond. It shouldn't matter what I think. I'm leaving soon so you can do whatever you want. The house there is nicer anyways. It's in a decent suburb. You've always wanted to live in the suburbs. I don't know why didn't just go there before I went to high school. It's not like I've lived in Oakland all my life. It's not like I've grown attached to it. It's not like I've made any good friends who are staying. I'm pretty damn tired of hearing police sirens. Why do you think I'm moving so far away?

I tell him it doesn't really effect me.

-Allan

White Casket

I'm living a double life. That makes it sound easy. I'm at least five different people. None of them know each other. One of them knows you. That's how it goes. If I tried to bring them all together, things would happen. Like having a room full of people you've slept with, but never bothered to call. Those kind of things. One of them clearly is sexually frustrated. He probably has squaids. What was I saying? Oh yea. I'm at least five different people. One of them clearly pays very little attention to anything. He has the attention span of a squirrel. By this point, you are starting to see a pattern and are thinking that I will repeat this five times. Jokes on you. I just wasted a good minute of your life. He's an asshole.

-Allan

Bare and brittle

Valentine was a man with plan
A true business man
Why not exploit the lovers
With notions of trying to get laid?
And the ones who aren't love
They'll pay to express their hate
"I'll be a rich man!"

-Allan

Drive all over time

I don't think I can stand this place anymore.
It's no longer a home, it's a cage.
I know everything. I'm just bored now.
Everyone here just drinks all the time.
So it's not so wrong that I feel alone.
Bob's getting laid, Billy has a girlfriend.
I just jack off and go to rock shows by myself.
I'll probably do that when I leave here too.

-Allan

Castle Builders

I wish I was a wit vampire. It's like a normal vampire except for the fact that instead of sucking out blood, I'd suck out all of the victim's witty thoughts and comments. I would be the most charming and clever thing on two legs since the invention of the two-legged toaster. If I ever need a witty comeback, I'd simply suck it out of you. Then you would be dead so I guess it would be pointless. Did I mention people die when they get drained of all their wit? It's true.

-Allan

A big ol' fad

My name is Ted
I use my cellphone to see in the dark
I flip my pillow over to get to the cold side
I will slightly go out of my way to step on that crunchy looking leaf
I hate it when I take off my shoe and my sock comes off with it
I'm very interesting.

-Allan

Buy my car

I am going to wait until she's a bit older, divorced
And a total cougar
That's when I'll move in
I'll be like what? Thirty?
She'll still be just right
I don't think it's wrong
This is what true love is
None of that fairy tale bullshit
It's pretty ugly ain't it?
I have wants, she has needs
No use drowning ourselves
They don't need to understand, but they could shut their mouths
I don't care either way
I'm happy

-Allan

Chop Squad

Technically this is artsy. I will keep doing it for a while. Maybe you enjoy it. Maybe it's a good laugh. I think in very disjointed sentences.

-Allan

Pocket Jingle

A present came in the mail today
It told me to wait
What for?
To open it
I know, it sounds like a horrible deal
But I'll have a little bit of faith this time
And if this one fails
There will be more along the way

-Allan