White Casket

I'm living a double life. That makes it sound easy. I'm at least five different people. None of them know each other. One of them knows you. That's how it goes. If I tried to bring them all together, things would happen. Like having a room full of people you've slept with, but never bothered to call. Those kind of things. One of them clearly is sexually frustrated. He probably has squaids. What was I saying? Oh yea. I'm at least five different people. One of them clearly pays very little attention to anything. He has the attention span of a squirrel. By this point, you are starting to see a pattern and are thinking that I will repeat this five times. Jokes on you. I just wasted a good minute of your life. He's an asshole.

-Allan