Your tears as ransom/All Apologies/Bonus Track

Mmm....more titles.

I can't sit around and read this god damn SAT prep book all day...mom. So I'm gonna blog.

I'm still feeling the post-show giddyness. Well, not really but totally. To tell you the truth, this last show may have been one of the only ones where I was very unreceptive of what was going on. Even now, I have a hard time reconstructing Lydia's set in my mind. I think it was probably because the two bands that played in between them kinda bummed me out. Also, I just really didn't feel like anyone in the room was there for the music. Just to worship. Like more than 20 times I overheard someone saying "I don't even know who's playing tonight" (in the sense they were really there for like maybe one of the bands) or asking someone else what the line-up looked like. I don't know, I just really didn't like the atmosphere. I really can't explain it. I'm just cynical to everything.

It was a good show nonetheless.

All the previous comments can be taken as complete bullshit simply by the amount of pictures I took of Mindy White. I guess I was there to "worship" too.

Fuck. I think I'm trying to move away from some kind of mold because I need to feel different. I desperately want thoughts of my own and not something someone told me or something I read somewhere. I could talk all the shit I want about these kids who "dress alike and think the same things". At the end of the day though, they at least have some sort of identity and a sense of who they are (I hope). Mindless hipster scene zombie. Haha. Better than me though. I gravitate between everything and ultimately am nothing.

This is me trying to prove that I am in fact that I'm aware of everything by pointing out my own shortcomings.

That was me pretending like I knew what any of those words meant.

Am I confusing you now? Is this pissing you off? Should you buy me dinner?

It's almost Summer break thing of doom. Time for me to be all depressed again. That's all free time leads to. A chance for me to be alone with my head and letting all the things that have not happened for me (even though the movies promised!) manifest themselves into long and boring blog posts. It's starting even as we speak. The longer these things are, the more depressed I am. I believe. So I will try hard to do something. But I won't because I'm lazy and too detached from everything to go crawling back to it with my tale between my legs.

Times like these I wish I had more friends. Cause I really don't have many. Because I'm really hard to get along with. "My kind of people" don't really exist in my environment.

Okay. No. Disregard all of this. I'm just trying to avoid work.

-Allan

Juicebox

Here is what I did for a good amount of today (but not really because this spanned like less than 10 hours):


This is me waiting


S.F through my dirty ass window


This is a line


This needs to happen more (they are high heels in case you can't figure what those are)


Mindy White like a 4 feet away from me while waiting in line for the bathroom (I am creepy)


This is the stage


This is a crowd


These folks are called Brave Citizens. They were okay.


These folks are called Eye Alaska. They were really bad.


Eye Alaska was still playing



The girls really liked this guy. Like REALLY liked this guy.

And then those bands were done. *Insert drum roll*


More Mindy during set up


They had these lamp things as part of their set


Mindy and guitar guy (Steve?) during set up


Mindy on her tippy-toes while checking Leighton's mic


Singing


More singing


Jed


Lydia



Mindy gets to sing too


Mindy and guitar guy for reals now

So yea. Those aren't the best quality pictures. I had to crank the ISO up way too high in order to even see anything (there wasn't a whole lot of light)so things are a bit grainy. I couldn't really move around because I had a decent spot near the stage and there wasn't much room to move to anyways. Plus, it's not that great of a camera. It's a step up from the point and shoot piece of crap at home, but it's not a nice SLR.

I had fun. Lydia is really good live. Leighton hits his notes and Mindy is on stage 98% of the time. We are happy campers! :D

My only complain is the amount of screaming fangirls. They were kinda annoying. At some point in my life, I was one of those, but I've tried hard to remove myself from that. Like really, it's kinda annoying when you fucking worship the person on stage. They're just people too.

-Allan

Punk is dead, Let's fuck!

I found this neat little band today called The Finger. It consists of one Ryan Adams and a few other gentlemen. They play what wikipedia calls "hardcore punk". It's super silly and absolutely nothing like what Ryan Adams usually does (not even in his punk days). It's just like half an hour of loud guitars and screaming (most of the songs are under a minute). They've got the best album cover ever too. A picture of breasts with middle fingers covering the nipples? Classic! They have one album called "We Are Fuck You" and it's not THAT hard to find on the interbot (you probably don't wanna pay money for this...).

Today at school, I picked up a magazine called "Adbusters" in the library. I was so blown away by the randomness of the magazine that I almost wanted to subscribe to it. Of course, I didn't read any of it and was only looking at the amazing pictures so I had no clue what it was about. So I went home, googled it, and now can retract that previous statement about wanting to subscribe. It's suppose to be kind of anti-consumerism/culture jamming bullshit that sticks it to the man. The best part though, is that a year's subscription is $40 and it just goes higher for the longer term packages. It's also printed on super fine, glossy paper and looks very fancy. What the hell? It should be for free and printed on shitty printer paper!!! >=O My conclusion is that it's a magazine for fucking hipsters so I could never love it.

I spent most of the day quoting "Idiocracy". If you haven't seen that movie, what the fuck is wrong with you? This is valuable viewing material and will get you prepared for what the future most likely will be.

The new Marilyn Manson disappoints me. So much. It's horrible. It's actually unbearable. I deleted it and am still shaking. =/ Stop trying so hard to scare us sir. It's 2009, nothing is scary anymore. Please just concentrate on the music cause that's all the really matters...

Time to get polikticalz?

Today, California decided it was a good idea to uphold Prop 8 which basically tells the gays that they cannot marry in this here fine state. But all the gays that got married when gay marriage was legal for all of one minute will still be recognized as legit marriages. That should make them happy right? No California...no... Though I don't think the state is to blame. I'm in no way surprised this was what we decided on either. We've really not progressed as much as people would like to think. Sure were all driving those hybrids and vegans are fucking everywhere, but gay people still can't get married at the end of the day. I don't think I'm gonna go over how I think limiting marriage the way we are is just really stupid. Why don't we waste our time finding a "cure" for gay instead people? Not letting them marry isn't gonna stop it you know?

And on that subject, well....I was just gonna talk about how some people overplay the whole "I'm so open-minded and a great person because issues like this just screw my day up". I am a horrible judge when it comes to people, but I like to think I know when people are faking it (whatever the hell that means). Some people (like me) are just sheep and go with what our surroundings tell us to go with. Silly, false people without thoughts of our own. Some people take it the extra mile and walk into every class with some phony rant about how horrible the events that took place today are. You're not really "opinionated". You're just full of shit.

Am I really cynical to everything? Or am I just cooler than Holden Caufield? Or maybe I'm just some stupid asshole who thinks he's better than everyone else. I'd go with "C" because it's smart to guess "C". PHONY PONIES!!!

I can make this post longer. I believe!!! Were gonna talk about my love interests because you so fucking wanna read about it. You've been dying to read about it. It's been gnawing at you from the inside and manifesting itself in the worst of ways.

Okay? No not really. I don't actually have anything to say about that. I just cling for dear life onto any girl who pay attention to me and that really doesn't work. If you look at me, I'll probably fall in "love" with you. It's that disgustingly bad. I like how I'm writing this and the song in the background sounds like it's saying "Charlotte" when it's really going "Shalalala" ("Pa" by Ryan Adams & The Cardinals. Tell me that doesn't sound like he's saying "Charlotte"). So yea. I don't know why I say these things. It's like I'm trying to convince myself. Convince myself to do what exactly? I don't know.

This post is way too long. Go work on your Russian accent and leave me alone.

-Allan

Consistently Sheep

Okay. I fucking lied. I only have 275 posts? Apparently this stupid website likes to save random drafts without telling me and call those "posts". I'm actually amazed how many of them were there. Half of them became actual fleshed out posts too so this whole thing is stupid. Sorry for the screw up.

I deleted all those drafts to avoid further confusion. I think I actually deleted a post too (if you can verify this, you can have me...o,o). Luckily, it just said "blah" like twenty times. It looked like a full post, but I'm not sure and it's nothing important anyways.

Whatever. What's done is done and edited.

So I watched this movie called "Fargo" and I think everyone needs to watch it because it's so crazy and awesome. Plus, you'll probably spend a good amount of time afterwards trying to imitate the accents. :D

Jay Bennett who was once in Wilco died yesterday. I thought I should just mention that in case you fucking love Wilco and live in a cave with internet access and can only connect to my blog. If that is the case, I should probably give you more useful information. Jokes aside, I was pretty bummed out. I forced myself to stay up an extra hour or two to listen to "Summerteeth" and feel all sad and stuff.

Do you think anyone ever cries for help in twitter? Do you think anyone's ever been rescued that way? Follow me? <-- you can click on that "me"

There's only about two weeks of school left (not counting finals week). I've completely forgotten about college and should probably go see my counselor again. I have an SAT in two weeks. Right now though, I could care less. Lydia is coming on Friday and that's all I care about. Standing around a bunch of screaming 12 year olds while I yell sexy, sexy things at Mindy White. :O

Alright. I'm pooped. See? I can use that expression too.

-Allan

NO SPARTA?!!!!

That makes 300. I guess. I haven't mentioned how many posts I've made in the past (at least I can't recall doing so) so I don't see why this should be any different. Oh well. Let's try this.

Nope. I just fail at math.

A large list of albums that have affected my mental state for the worst accompanied by pretty album covers and comments and is in no specific order:


Arriving Alive - DESA

I live in Oakland. This is pretty Oakland. Pretty much still my favorite band and one of my favoritest records of all time. You can hear loud guitars and learn about Grand Avenue all in the same sitting.


Anything Else But The Truth - The Honorary Title

It's got one of favorite album covers ever. If you like folksy depressing love songs, this is the record for you.


Grace - Jeff Buckley

Jeff Buckley is the man. He's also got a pretty great cover of "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen.


Letting Off The Happiness - Bright Eyes

Do I really need to go on more about Conor Oberst? If you've been reading my blog, you know I fucking love this man. The music's not too bad either.


Charmingly Awkward - Street to Nowhere

So they aren't a band anymore. So maybe you can't stand Dave Smallen. But I can and that's all that matters. I have to say this album has kept me sane when I felt like I was really losing it.


Drugs To The Dear Youth - Tera Melos

Like to have your face ripped off? Like that math rock and roll? Question?! This record is solely responsible for me getting into instrumental bands.


Never Mind The Bollocks, Here's The Sex Pistols - Sex Pistols

If you google Sid Vicious or rabbit lock, I have one of those and I wear it all the time. That tells you how much I love this band and record.


Juturna - Circa Survive

OH EM GEE AMAZINGEST ALBUM EVER!? Anthony Green has one of the most amazing voices evar and writes some of the amazingest things evar!!!


Drunk Like Bible Times - Dear And The Headlights

I've listened to this album non-stop for the past few months and I've forced quite a few videos by this band onto you so you have to love them.


Illuminate - Lydia

I'm seeing them in like a week. Wanna come? Yea you do. Fly your ass into Oakland (unless you're already in Oakland) and we can all go to San Francisco! :D These comments have nothing to do with music anymore do they?


Doppelgänger - The Fall of Troy

DO YOU LIKE REALLY FAST GUITARS AND SCREAMING AND THINKING "HTF CRAZY VOCALS?!". Then go listen to this one.


Heartbreaker - Ryan Adams

My new favorite person in the entire world. Kinda. He's cool.


The Lost Lolli - OLIVIA

She looks all nice and cute and pretty, but that's really not what this album is about. It's actually kinda heavy and scary.Super experimental and not J-Poppy. I was obsessed with Olivia Lufkin (google that instead of OLIVIA) and I still kinda am. She's very good at this whole music thing.


Siamese Dream - Smashing Pumpkins

I've got a love-hate relationship with this band. I'm very vocal about it. That shouldn't stop you from trying to find this album and paying your monies for it.


Waxwane - Love You Moon

I went to a DESA concert and bought this from Matt Embree (the ring leader of this side project) who's like one of the nicest people ever. People like him make real music.


The Mother, The Mechanic, And The Path - The Early November

This album is like 40+ songs. Sure, 1/3 of it is like this weird conversation between a guy and his psychiatrist, but it's still a lot of music. A lot of good music. What I think is good music.


One Cell In The Sea - A Fine Frenzy

I own this album. Twice. I've waited in the cold wearing a fucking t-shirt and without a ticket to a show I wasn't sure was not sold out to go see her. I was THAT obsessed with this band. Not so much anymore, but it's definitely left a mark on me.


Hotel Paper - Michelle Branch

Hahaha. This is actually the first CD I ever bought. Back when I was still down with stuff like this. It's my guilty pleasure now.


Where You Want To Be - Taking Back Sunday

I still like them. A lot. "A Decade Under The Influence" has a special place somewhere inside my chest cavity. Maybe I should've said heart. Now I no longer seem cool to you. =/


Santi - The Academy Is...

Yea, I listen to this too. I own it actually.


Get Hot - Facing New York

Any album with a song called "Cops on Bikes" is worth listening to.

...

Okay. Fuck it. This is too much work. All this clicking and typing! :O

Wasn't that a great idea? Now you have to scroll hella and read about my bad music taste.

-Allan

Her and her cigarettes.

Okay. This is another little experiment. But not really. I just said that to make you tingle in the best of ways?

Oh look, it's the end of all our days
Well I'm not leaving here without getting laid
Oh my, it's the end of this little world
But I'm okay, it's enough to feel grown

I'm calling this one "Let's Drop Acid" (only because that's the only thing I can come up with). I don't know why. It's about the end of the world. Of course you get recognition for giving me the idea. I'll finish this one. I swear on my dead wife.

I'm kinda sick of all these tiny lines I really like but am not motivated to stretch out into a song. Maybe in the end it's just because I don't try hard enough. I sit down for like all of a second and I'm defeated and will just move onto not writing. WRITE! WRITE! WRITE!! I'm tired of complaining about my lack of ability to write also.

I am convinced Dr. Enelow hates me with every fiber of his being. Like actually.

There's an Art History test tomorrow. I normally don't study for those, but I haven't been paying attention these last few Art History classes. Plus we have like a billion (please mail me that punch in the face now) French artists that we have covered. It's scary. STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!

That's the last huge hill before a three day weekend filled with not going outside and trying hard not to go into the city because I'm broke and don't really wanna hear Gambit's bad Cajun accent or see Wolverine's bad CGI claws...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

-Allan

Oh. Mah. Gorsh

A NEW READER OF DOOM?!

!!!

Hello there. Welcome. Sit down. Have a cup of tea. Buy a t-shirt.

Okay. Well. That's one more verified reader. I guess.

Some kid shot himself a few days ago and dragged poor, ol' Marilyn Manson into it. Apparently the little idiot entered a classroom with a gun and wanted everyone to say "Hail Marilyn Manson". Then after missing the two shots he fired at his teacher, he went into a bathroom and shot himself in the head. Guess what? He's still alive. Thus, I feel absolutely no sympathy for him. Even if he had died I wouldn't feel bad for him. If you're gonna kill others and then yourself, don't blame it on some guy who makes music. The fact that you would take anything that Manson writes seriously and act on it is the fault of your lack of judgment (and quite a few screws) and not some guy who wears make up for a living.

Sorry that took a weird turn from somewhat happy the asshole-y. I just find things like that funny and like to comment on them.

Happy. Let's do happy.

I had things to talk about. Then I had to write papers and study for Bio. In short, I forgot most of it.

Nap time.

-Allan