It's a fucking conspiracy

Zhees here ees Florence and the Machine (A.K.A Florence Welch and her backing band "The Machine"). She's quite good. Really in your face but also really far away from your face holding cupcakes. She also covered "Hospital Beds" by Cold War Kids and made me love Cold War Kids again (not that I ever stopped loving them). Click it and listen and stuffs.

Billy Mays died. What the fuck? Couldn't Lil' Wayne be next? But seriously, that's kinda sad. Who else is gonna yell "OXYCLEAN!!!" at me? Who else will convince me to buy useless shit without thinking twice? WHO ELSE WILL DAWN HIS AWESOME BEARD?! Not the fucking ShamWow guy, that's for sure.

Watch more famous people die in the following weeks. Then at the end of it all, someone's gonna step up and claim responsibility for all their deaths then explain to us his (or her! see how smoothly I avoid sexism?) intricate plan and how killing all these people will actually bring the fall of mankind. That's right, Bob Dylan may hold to key to our survival. Or not...

-Allan

Desensitizing Fraudulent Moosi

Today is just a horrible day. Nothing's going well. Bunch of famous people I don't care much about died. My SAT scores suck and I need to retake it. I feel defeated as fuck. Blah blah blah.

It's funny how everyone is all of a sudden a Michael Jackson fan. Yea, the guy basically had us all eating out of his hands at some point in history and he should be recognized for that, but all the bullshit "RIP Michael Jackson" statuses on facebook and the ton of internet blah blah from kids who know "Thriller" because of Fall Out Boy is stupid. Now if for some reason you are reading this and are thinking "What the fuck?! I am a true Jackson fan and I feel offended! This guy's an asshole!", shhh...baby's sleeping. :D

Cynical eccentrical (which is a reach word, truthiness).

Meh.

"I ♥ Huckabees" makes absolutely no sense. Today may have been one of the worse days to view that movie since it's been so bad. I hate the way Mark Wahlberg talks. Sorry Marky Mark.

If I can convince someone to make soap with me, I'm fucking doing it.

-Allan

Asphyxiate

I cannot not spell that word if my life depended on it.

I was watching Marie Antoinette (the Kirsten Dunst one) and there was this one part where the priest guy was like "Il n'y a pas triste" or something. I had no clue what "triste" meant exactly, but I remembered it being like bad or not happy or something. That's probably why I fail at French. Because I don't know exactly what a lot of words mean and only kinda get the gist of them and it doesn't make test grades look good. :D

Then again, that's kinda how English works for me too. And Chinese. And Pork-Spanish.

Parasite Eve has been beaten. Now I'm onto Parasite Eve II. Is it sad how stoked I am about the graphics in the second game even though they technically are hella dated in 2009? Yes it is. I find everything about the second game more enjoyable except my old friend the super shitty Resident Evil/Silent Hill/Just about any survival horror game of the 90's control scheme. You try dodging attacks when you can barely maneuver! RAWR! MORE COMPLAIN ABOUT STUPID SHIT!

I have to constantly keep myself stimulated with movies. The in between time is just like blank space. I've watched so many in a row that I don't believe I've absorbed any of them. It's kinda just like "Oh, okay...next!"

HUZZAH!

-THE ABOMINDALALALADINGDONG SNOWFEET

JAM

I reverted into some weird Nirvana phase at 8 am. I should stop waking up so early. Not that I don't like Nirvana.

Cross country practice did not start today because everyone was "busy" so I didn't wanna end up being just me there with the coaches. No offense coaches.

I'm done with "The Office". For now at least. Now I'm sad. I have nothing to watch until September. I have a feeling I would hate that show if I actually had to work at an office. Then it would just be like "NUH UH! NO ONE LOOKS LIKE JENNA FISCHER AT MY WORK PLACE!"

I'm good at making absolutely nothing happening in my life sound exciting aren't I?

-Allan

You fight that monster

My turn offs include: Not super awesome graphics, set camera angles, that really annoying movement scheme where the up button only makes you walk forward and the back button makes you walk slowly backwards and makes turning a bitch, not being able to shoot over-shoulder, giant monster thing that screams "STARS!!" and basically rapes the shit out you...

Okay, I like (love and would love to get married to) Resident Evil 3, but some of the old-fashion stuff I just can't take anymore. Anyone who has since played RE4 or 5 can maybe agree with me that the control scheme for those games are way better. It makes killing zombies way easier and it's really nice to see what you're shooting at. Then you revisit the old games and it's like "...we should see other people."

There are also these also things in game that force you to make decisions that affect how the rest of the game goes. The very first one you make is whether or not to face Nemesis within 5-6 minutes of the game starting. Nemesis, for those of you who don't know, is a giant zombie thing in a trench coat that stalks you throughout the entire god damn game because that's what he was made to do. He's even on the cover! The full title of the game is actually "Resident Evil 3: Nemesis"! He's suppose to be a big deal. So no way in hell I'm gonna choose to fight that right? Wrong! There's this problem with me that if I tell myself not to do things, I more than 90% of the time end up doing them. So screaming "DON'T CHOOSE FIGHT!!" over and over only lead to me choosing to fight and being pummeled to the floor like a meat sack. Here's where the not so awesome controls kicked in and forced me to spend an extra second with my decaying, fleshy friend.

But who's complaining? I get to shoot zombies. Plus I spent a good hour updating hacks and all that technomalogical BS just to get one PS1 game to work so I am gonna play it. I will play the shit out of it.

I'm a potty mouth. :O

-Allan

Seasaw

I watched a video today of our awesome, awesome president swatting a fly like it was nothing. I would've loved it even more if he had pulled out his presidential fly-killing chopsticks out. Jokes aside, the first thing that popped into my head was "PETA is gonna be piiiisssedd!" Of course, I was joking and didn't think they would actually get involved, but I guess I'm really wrong. Well, I they kinda only made some comment about the incident, no anti-fly killing protests, but really? I'll take being reborn as a fly and swatted by a president for saying this, but that's just really stupid to worry about a fucking fly. This is where we are as a country. We have time to talk about a fly that was killed on TV. (Ignore that, we don't need more complaining about the country)

I don't like PETA. Let's put that out there. I love animals. PETA "loves" animals. Hooray!? I mean, some of the stuff they do is awesome. Save the shit out of those animals. Forget people. Animals are the ONLY thing that matters. Here's what I believe (don't talk to me if you don't feel the same way :D): People should be the most important thing to other people. Not animals. Not trees and whatnot. Work on keeping people alive. Work on reaching that point where were not just mindless consumer dipshits who just waste and waste and I believe a lot of problems that aren't people will be remedied.

Maybe I'm talking out of my ass and my second ass when I say that. Maybe PETA will try and take me down. That would be tight.

I'm into season four of "The Office". I am excited. Sure. Excited. But also not because it will not last me all Summer. But cross country practice starts sometime next week I believe. I guess that'll keep me busy for a while. Then maybe when I beat the living poopies out of Patapon 2 and Resident Evil 3, I'll actually do something productive.

I might look into making soap (for cereals). Then I'll start a fight club. Then I'll take down civilization. WOO!

-Allan

Summer days, I can't stand the Summer days

You will luff it! YOU WILL LUFF THE HELL OUT OF IT! The song that is. Isn't it a great song? Unless you hate cute. Then you're a fucker. >=O The good thing about songs by Olivia Lufkin is that should they feature guitars, they are usually really easy to figure out. Hooray!

So I believe I may be obsessed with "The Office". The good ol' Amurcan one of course. Great show. And Dwight K. Schrute may very well be my new hero.

I don't watch a whole lot of TV nor do I catch onto things very fast so bear with me.

I wanna see a Chinese version of "The Office". It would be weird. China would probably end up banning it. Hahaha.

I wonder if I blogged about stuff like this while I'm in China, would they like shut me down and deport me? Because a lot of people blog in China and some of them who talk a lot of shit or do things that the government don't approve of have been shut down I believe.

I've googled Tienanmen Square like once while I was in China and my uncle was like "Yea....don't do that..."

This is me bored. Hello. Time to quit being a panzy bitch and actually attempt to play Resident Evil 3 on mah PSP. Can't quite remember if the L2/R2 buttons were needed...I hope they aren't.

-Allan