This is the soundtrack of our restless lives.

When there's something you really want, but can't bring yourself around to get, it's always in your face taunting you and randomly calling your name in hallways.

I cannot enjoy my creations. Thus, I must do things with other people in mind. And by "things", I mean everything. The good. The bad. The mildly suggestive. Is this me trying to validate to myself that I'm a kind, generous person? No. But you should think of it that way.

I've been "singing" a lot of Anthony Green songs lately. I've been "singing" a lot more than I've been "working" lately. Guess what? I've got a ton of shit due in the period of one week and none of them are past 10% done. I just absolutely love how fucking stupid I am.

So yea, this is my self-loathing post. Only because I've been thinking about how much of an asshole I am to people. And to be honest, I really believe 80% of that asshole-ness comes from my lack of wanting to be social in any shape or form. I try to be nicer which basically means I just have to shut up and not talk. Sadly, I've established the loud, obnoxious asshole role for myself and it's hard to break away from that. And if I don't talk, people think I'm like really fucked up and about to kill myself or some shit since I'm one of those.

-Allan