Famous Blue Raincoat

Things get really serious now. I don't know that still of course. I can only assume they're serious when people who don't have to tell me that I'm not doing what I should be doing are pulling me over and telling me. That made sense. I have get my priorities straight. Sounds easy enough and I really want to, but I have no clue what the hell my priorities are or should be! You can't leave something like that up to me. Isn't it clear what I think should be my priorities are hurting me?

Man. I'm really more trouble than it's worth. I'm sorry.

My dad's convinced I'm depressed.

I'm not convinced I want to go to the cast party (assuming I did okay on that test today and I'm not pulled from the show). Sure, it probably isn't as degenerate as I've painted in my head. It'll probably be fun to some extent. But going to something like that would just give me false hope. I don't want false hope. I want it to end so I can have some sane thoughts.

I didn't mean to get all "emotional" or whatever the fuck you wanna call what has been written. Things tend to work out for me. I think the billions of wake up calls are finally kicking in.

-Allan